Complicated!

So today I had picked up my boyfriend from his house because he was going to go to class with me for two hours so we could go to our very last ultrasound. After the ultrasound we went to the hospital because he had gotten into a really bad accident months ago but he was having sharp pains. After all this was done with I took him back home and dropped him off. Now the only people at his house were males and there was no way I was going to stay there. He knew I wasn't going to want to stay so he didn't even ask.

So because he didn't ask me, I felt like I was rushed out. Almost like he didn't want me there anymore. I mean even if he had asked me, I wouldn't have stayed anyway because I mean there was nothing but males there and I don't like feeling like I'm in the way of their "guy time". As we were saying goodbye I kinda got a little attitude with him and left. I texted him that I was home and the first thing he said was, "Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?" I told him I was a little hurt and irritated because I felt like he was rushing me out. Of course that wasn't his intentions and I knew that. And now, I've made him feel bad but he knew I wasn't going to stay anyway. So now I feel bad for making him feel bad.

The point of this post is, Females really are just complicated! As a female I know this but, if a male was to tell me to my face I would of course deny it.

I can feel our relationship growing and becoming more mature and it scares me but excites me at the same time. Moments like this, no matter how complicated make me realize how much we know about each other but also how much more we need to learn about each other. Every day I learn something new about it and every day I fall more in love with him. I know we've had a lot of problems in the past but, I'm crazy about the guy and I'm starting to see how crazy he really is about me. We're growing up and growing together. It's one of the greatest feelings ever.

Baby Facts:
Last week at the doctor's, I was 1 cm dilated.
Hopefully I'm 2 cm by tomorrow.
He weighs 6lbs 4oz.
We're so close to meeting him. . .finally!

A little venting. . .

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Anonymous

This morning, I was very thrown off by a certain message I had seen on my Facebook. I've seen messages like it before by the same person but, for some reason this one just made me very upset. I've been sitting here in class trying to figure out why it made me so upset and, I finally realized why. I cannot stand it when people go on their Facebooks or blogs or whatever they have, to say something mean about another person. I mean if you have something so important like that to say to someone shouldn't you respect them enough to at least confront them and say what you have to say to their face? You shouldn't call someone immature and rant all kinds of mean things about them to your friends over the internet. In reality, YOU are the immature one if you can say all these bad things about a person to everyone EXCEPT that person.

Although I was very upset by the comment of this person, I will not let it get me down. The comment was not made towards me but, to someone very special to me. I will always back this person up no matter the choices they make.

Baby Facts:
Our baby boy weighs 4 pounds 9 ounces. <3
He is the right size and is growing at a good pace.
The baby shower is February 5, 2012.
I can not wait!

Lately. . .

I've been listening to a lot of Mac Miller and as I listen to his lyrics, the more I start to really like him. I was introduced to him by a friend and right away I liked him but, I never really listened to his lyrics. I just liked the beats and went along with it. Every time I listen to his songs, I hear lyrics or words that I hadn't heard before. The reason for my blog today is inspiration. I just started a new semester and I really need some inspiration because last semester I really didn't have any. So I am using Mac Miller and his lyrics as my inspiration this semester.

"Some people just need to stop thinking about everything they do and just do it." - Mac Miller

Lately, I have been one of those people who say they will do something and never get around to it. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to inspiration and motivation to do as I say. I can't stand when other people do it and I never realized that I had become one of those people! Just like my new year's resolution, I want to be more positive and motivated. I want to start now before my son is born.
I want to do good and be good in life. I want to better myself and my life, not that it is horrible or anything. :)


Baby Facts:
8 months on Sunday
Baby needs to gain 1/2 a pound every week
Baby shower invites are done & almost sent out
<3

To a New Year!

It has been way too long since I have last written but, life happens. :) I've definitely had some crazy times in the past couple months. October came and went, I didn't get to do anything for Halloween which is very sad because it is one of my favorite holidays. Next year though, my boyfriend and I WILL be getting dressed up and going to a Halloween party. I can't wait to do couple costumes. <3 Thanksgiving was amazing like every year. I love that turkey dinner! Christmas was nice, we got to watch the kids open their presents. Next year I will have my own little one opening presents! It is very exciting to think about.

This new year started off a little complicated. New years night didn't exactly go as I had planned. Unfortunately I didn't get my new year's kiss which I had be looking forward to all night long. :/ Octavio and I had been fighting like crazy. I thought it was bad before but, it had gotten worse. Recently we had some well needed time apart. He went hunting with his friends and I went out with friends. It was nice to get away but, I realized how much I missed him not being there. He was all I thought about and I wanted him back so badly. I hated him being away, I felt lost without him. When he got back, we had a very long emotional talk about everything. It was what we needed at the time and since then everything has been fine. I'm getting happier everyday knowing that we are both trying to make this work. Not just for the baby but, for us.

With the baby coming soon its really starting to become reality and I think we've both realized it. I know I would be fine taking care of my son alone but, I really don't want to. He needs his daddy just as much as he needs his mommy. It is so comforting knowing that my relationship with Octavio is getting better. I never stopped loving him but, it seemed like we weren't going anywhere. We decided to forget the past and burn everything in it. We don't need to focus on the future because it will always be a mystery. The only thing we need to worry about is what is happening right now. So far, its been working.

My NewYear's resolution is to live everyday like it is my last. I don't want to hold grudges or keep anything inside. I'm moving on and living in the moment. I will laugh, smile and be happy more. I will look at the good in every crappy situation. I will be more confident and walk with my head up. My baby boy will be here soon and I will do everything I can to make sure he grows up with the confidence he needs to just be himself. Honestly, it is the best way to live. <3

Baby Facts:
I am 31 weeks.
He is the right size and everything looks perfect.
Baby shower invites were finished today and will sent out by the weekend.
Things are getting better. :)

Just to Write.

Since my last post, I am happy to say that me and the boyfriend have indeed been amazing. Not that we aren't always that way but, we had been fighting a lot. I know we have both been working on our relationship and so far, its been showing. :) I couldn't ask for anything better. We are still considered a new couple but, I think since we live together and we are already having a baby, we are a lot closer then couples I've seen that have been together for months. He really is my best friend and I couldn't ask for a more perfect boyfriend. Besides my love life, school is almost over. Which I can't wait for. I'm needing the break, even though it will only be a week, its better then nothing. Still no job :/ for either of us. We have been trying but, I seriously doubt anyone would want to hire a pregnant women. It sucks but, it's the truth. My boyfriend actually has an interview in October. We're really looking forward to that, keeping our fingers crossed! :) Hahah my mother got us hooked on watching Trueblood. I love it haha, it's a crazy weird show but, it is very entertaining. Since I can't really do much else, its nice. I have been slacking a little on walking everyday but, I am trying. So, I've got a photoshoot on Tuesday. I'm very excited for it. :) I need to start working on my finals!

I am 13 weeks and getting hungrier.
Jeans are fitting tighter.
Tests all came back good. :)
Dr. App next week.