Love

Today in class we had an assignment called, "From the Heart". One of my friends' presentation really made me think. She had this one black and white photo of her and her husband's shoes. On the picture, she added the words, "I found out that love is about more then just holding hands." I completely fell in love! It made me really start to think about what I thought about love and my relationship. In life we tend to forget about the simple things that matter. So here I am taking a step back, thinking about love. I realized that I always have so much to complain about and forget to be thankful for the good in my life. I mean I have an amazing life filled with amazing people. I wouldn't change my life at all. I especially wouldn't ask for a more better boyfriend. He is absolutely the love of my life. He's not perfect, I get that, but I always seem to find something to complain about. I didn't notice until today. We hardly ever fought and now it seems as if we fight every other day. I hate it and I know he hates it. I've said things I wish I could take back and that's my biggest mistake. We have to live every day to it's fullest. We have to take the good out of every bad situation. My relationship is one of the most important things in my life and I wouldn't want some stupid argument to ruin it because I honestly think that's what would happen. This whole time I thought it was him changing when in reality, its both of us. But, I do nothing but blame him for it. And  I mean changing in adjusting to our surroundings and my emotional ups and downs. My job from now on is to be the best girlfriend I am capable of being. I have all the trust in the world for him and I love him with my entire heart and being. I would do anything to make him happy and care for him. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. He is my world. My life. My everything.

I am 12 weeks, the baby is the size of a peach I believe.
I've got an appointment today, just a couple of tests.
Thank youuu! <3

First Sonogram!

Yesterday was such an amazing day. We finally got to see the baby for the first time. As soon as she put the little thing over my belly you could see the baby kicking and waving. I couldn't look away. It was totally a reality check. I knew I was pregnant but, not until you actually get to see what is inside, makes it a reality. Ahh I swear I could sit there all day just watching the baby move. We also got to hear the heartbeat, 160 BPM! It was beating so fast! :) I also found out that I am actually more pregnant then we thought. As of today I am actually 12 weeks which means, I am almost done with my first trimester. We got to have pictures of course. I had my mom laminate them so I can eventually put them into some kind of baby book. It's such an exciting yet weird thing to be pregnant. Exciting because I mean you're having a baby. A little person you get to take care of and watch grow. Weird because YOU'RE HAVING A FREAKING BABY! Hahaha. I dunno I haven't really been scared at the fact that I'm having a baby, which I'm not sure if thats a bad thing? I mean I always hear pregnant women say they are scared but, not me. I really don't see what the point in being scared is. I don't know but, I'm super excited to have a baby and I can't wait to finally see him/her. :)

11 Weeks, 6 Days <3

Goodnight.

It's been a little since I've last written. Not much has happened, same old every day living. Well, this weekend my boyfriend and I went to Phoenix with my grandparents and cousin to a concert. It was actually really awesome. I enjoyed myself. I wasn't so sure about it because I didn't know who he was or what kind of music he played but, it turned out really good. I had such a fun weekend. :) It was nice to hang out with my cousin. We never really get to see each other because our lives are so busy. Like I said, it was a really nice weekend. Thursday I had a doctor's appointment to draw blood and get a couple tests done. We couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat. :/  The doctor said I might be less pregnant then we thought. I read in my book though that there could be other reasons. This thursday though, I'm having a sonogram done. We'll get to see the baby for the first time! :D I am so stoked! Today was a nice day, besides all the arguing and tension with my boyfriend. :/ I got to hang out with my mom all day. It was nice. :) Anyways, it was a very long day and I am so ready to watch a movie and fall asleep. Goodnight!

The baby is the size of a plum this week.
Heartburn is starting to kick in real bad. :/
First sonogram is thursday. :)

911

Oh My God!
Those three words seriously describe my night. My sister had just gotten in the shower, I was getting something to eat, my brother was in my parents room, and my boyfriend was doing his own thing. I had just unplugged everything around the house because the lighting was getting intense. I was sitting on the couch and BOOM! I look over at my boyfriend and I see him slowly backing up from the window. Then he says, "Hey your tree is on fire." I looked through the window in the door and said, "Hey the tree is on fire." My boyfriend opened the door and immediately you could feel the heat from the fire. My brother rushed out of the room and said, "Holy SHIT the tree is on fire!" My mind seriously went blank. Then I started screaming to my sister, "Dani the tree is on fire!" I started freaking out. My brother was like, "Get the dogs in the car." So I ran to the room, threw on a sweater, grabbed my keys, and started grabbing the dogs and putting them in the car. My sister was calling the cops while my brother and boyfriend were doing what they could to put out the fire. Finally after what seemed liked forever, the firetruck shows up. Worst part was that they went to the gas station next door. REALLY?! You can't see our huge ass tree on fire? Are you kidding me. They made their way over and parked in front on our gate. My boyfriend like turned into the Hulk and pulled the fence up making it bigger for the truck to enter, although they ended up not even going through. They finally started putting out the fire. There was two fire trucks and two sheriffs. My parents rushed home from work but, they had already put the fire out and were rolling up the hose. Luckily, the roof was only a little burnt with no damage and also our deck was burned. It was also raining while it was all happening so that helped a lot too. I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life. That was our very first fire, so yeah I panicked. :/ All I cared about was getting the dogs and getting away from there. I thought our house was going to catch on fire. Everyone is ok and so is our house. The only thing is, there a huge mess to clean in the morning. It was the craziest thing and, I was amazing scared.

Baby is 10 weeks, the size of a prune. We've started our dipper collection. They're so tiny!

3 Months

Yesterday was my boyfriend and I's three month anniversary. <3 I know, three months only ha! What a joke right? I could honestly care less about when anyone thinks though. Yeah its just the beginning and yeah we're already having a baby but, every couple is different. Every couple does things their own way. I wouldn't ever judge someone for the decisions they have made in their lives. I am in no right form of ever judging anyone. I mean honestly what is the point in judging someone? It gets you no where and they are gonna be that way and do things that way because that is who they are. That's the way they want to be. I think it makes the world more interesting. If everyone did everything the same there would be no surprises, there would be no excitement. Without excitement, you're not living they way you want. You have to have confidence in everything you do. Yeah people will judge and will talk but, in the end you will know what is right in your heart. To me, that's the only way to live. The way you want to. You can't be afraid of what people will say or think. Every one will have their opinions. I say just live your life, the way you want to. Fuck what people think. Besides they're just people right. Anyways, I love you baby and I always will. Three months down love. :) We've made it this far and I can't wait to spend my life with you.

The baby is good. Still no sickness, yay. :)
Next appointment is August 15, ugh blood work.
Ohh, Jersey Shore started! Ha love it!    

Why Photography?

I feel like this post is really just for me. A way I can remind myself why I am studying what I am studying. So Why Photography? Thinking back, I've never really had a passion to do anything because I never knew what it was I wanted to be when I grew up. I know I enjoyed dancing and sports but, they were always just a hobby for me. There was always someone better which I didn't mind because I knew I was doing it just for fun. I also did it as a way to stay in shape because I like a lot of other people, hate the thought of having to workout. I'd rather do something fun that I enjoy while at the same time staying active and in shape. My senior year of high school, I had to take a fine arts class so, I chose Photography. I figured, "Hey you take a picture, get a good grade, pass the class, easy A." So first assignment, I take my pictures and turn them in. Easy enough. We show them in class everyone loves my photos, especially the teacher. I think, "Hey beginner's luck." Next assignment, take my pictures and turn them in. Everyone loves them again. I even get asked to have one put in a gallery. To me it wasn't a big deal, at least I never realized it before. I graduate high school and that's it, no more photography. College comes around and I take all dance classes thinking that's what I want to be for the rest of my life, at least I wouldn't mind it. I take beginning ballet which makes me realize how bad I am at it and how hard it is for me. The structure, the movements, everything. Ugh, dance isn't my passion. What now? I end up seeing an Ad about The Art Institute so, I do some research. Aww, of course! I start going to school and I realize, I am definitely a photographer. I love capturing those moments that people tend to forget about. The moments that they forget how they feel. I like capturing that moment and having it to always look back on. To remember exactly how I or others felt that day, that time, that moment. Yes, its true we will always have our memories but, to be able to see a photo of how you felt that day I believe, is so much more rewarding. It will literally bring you back to that moment. That is,  Why Photography. :)

The baby is the size of a raspberry this week.
Thank you to anyone reading.
<3

ORP

So, it's been a couple days since I have last written. But, I figured I wouldn't be able to write every day. My post today with be about my boyfriend. One because it was his birthday the other day and two because he deserves to have an entire post to himself. :) Any ways, we started dating May 4, 2011. Before that day I was told by a friend that he liked me so I started flirting a little. I didn't know him then but, he asked me to the movies so I said yes. To be honest, it was probably the most awkward night ever for me. It just felt too weird for me so I knew I wouldn't go out with him again. We started talking a little bit here and there. That's when he invited me to his brother's dance concert with his family. That day, like I said before, is when I knew I had to make him my boyfriend. I don't know what it was but, something showed that made me believe he was a good person to have around. We've been together ever since. I remember when he asked me out, it was probably the cutest thing ever. He would've asked me out earlier but, I had told him I wasn't ready. He was completely fine with it and gave me my space. When I was ready, we were sitting in my bed watching a movie and I looked at him and said, "I'm ready to be your girlfriend now." He said, "Really?! Are you sure?" "Yes." I said. He grabbed my chin and said, "Kayla, will you be my girlfriend?" And that's how it happened. He has been the most amazing guy I've ever been with. Everything is happening so fast with him, but I'm glad I'm going through it with him. I feel comfortable and that's why I allowed it to happen. He is the love of my life. I know this for sure. <3

Our baby is 8 weeks. The fingers are starting to come in. The tail is almost gone and the umbilical cord has officially formed.
We also bought a playpen, two more onesis, and a bottle. :)